When we say "I AM" we are confirming our being, we are confirming that we are certain and intimate with exactly what is being pointed out in this or any other "nonduality" writing.
Before awakening, people experience a longing to awaken, which comes from deep within them when it's time to awaken. This longing can easily turn into a desire on the part of the ego to be special and to transcend suffering. Awakening, then, becomes one more desire for the ego to suffer over. So this time of wanting to awaken prior to awakening can actually be quite painful, as all desires are.
Q: ...I have spent so many years seeking that on top of all the worries and doubts there is this annoying know-all guru who comes in with “What is noticing the thoughts?”, “What is already here?”, “What's wrong if you're not thinking about it?” – it just parrots all the books – it can drive you nuts! I'm totally over it. Enough is enough. I don't read anymore (OK, maybe I occasionally pick up a John Wheeler or Jeff Foster book – the “no frills” stuff),
The question, "How can I get more love in my life?" is itself part of the problem, because this question assumes that you don't have enough love right now and that you have to do something to get it. It also assumes that love is something you get from other people. If you believe these assumptions, you will get busy trying to do something to get love, and you will be doing those things from a sense of lack, which is not particularly attractive.
Change feels like tossing a coin up in the air—you don't know which way it will land, good or bad for the ego? The ego is deeply concerned it will turn out badly. The ego considers the worst case scenarios and fears the worst. It attaches a story to what's going on: "My life is going downhill."
Some things matter too much to the ego, and this is a sourceof unhappiness, things like performing perfectly, looking a certain way, having certain things, and so on. The flip side of this is that many of the little things that actually turn out to matter, especially to true happiness, are overlooked and underrated by the ego. Most of the turning points in our life came about as a result of something that didn't seem to matter at the time: a phone call from a friend who happened to tell us about a spiritual teacher coming to town; an invitation to a party,
Love isn't something that someone causes us to feel, but a state of being that we experience whenever we are fully present in the moment to whatever or whomever is showing up. Love is our natural state, and we experience our natural state whenever the chattering mind is quiet or simply ignored. This state of being is one of peace, acceptance, and love.
Seeking the extraordinary, it is easy to overlook the simple and obvious truth. You are here. You know it beyond any doubt. You don't need a mirror or an outside authority to tell you. It is undeniable.
